Kalyanam-Kathirikkai

‘So, It’s your turn now to get married, Get married before you turn bald, When are you planning for the “Kalyana Virundhu”, Get married soon before you become too old to conceive a baby’ annoying isn’t it?

To all those “Chamathhu Kozhandhells” who run away hearing the word “Kalyanam(Marriage)” and to all those relatives and parents who are never tired of chasing them.

“Kalyanam-Kathirikkai” is one sad yet an honest note about the atrocities and eventualities that every single youth of 20’s encounter on their daily routine. Woah you have started to judge me right? Well! Don’t think that it’s my story but that tale which flips the dreams of many fellas into nightmares! Here it goes!

Rule:1 An Engineering graduate is qualified to get married!       

Preferably girl/boy who has completed B.E/MBBS/BL etc or specifically an Ms holder residing in abroad! Are you interviewing us for a job opening? “Hai hai he’s a journalist! How can you marry him ‘cuz his life is under stake?, Ayooo she’s a fashion designer she must be wearing tiny clothes even after marriage” and bammm you’re rejected! 

Rule:2 “Good looking, fair and belonging to affluent family”.

“Beta! I’ve found you a girl she’s fair so must be obviously good looking, The guy’s father is a bank manager! I bet the guy must also have great earnings, *Racism overloaded*.” We understand you desparately want us to get married but don’t you think these pointless taboos in today’s world is really going to help your sons or daughters find a genuine partner?

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Rule:3 Yay to “Abroad Maapillai” and Nay to “Abroad Ponnu”.

Huhn? A girl born or brought up in abroad must necessarily be uncultured right? “Oops she must have tons of boyfriends!, *Hush hush* She must have already had sex because she’s in abroad *Hush Hush*, Ewwww I know Lakshmi Athai’s neighbour’s Friend’s cousin’s neice smokes because she lives in abroad!” On the contrary “Congratulations foreign Maapillai ah? Very good very good! Nice selection”. 

P.S. Meh!!! No comments! 

GIF courtesy: https://www.google.co.in

Rule:4 Your sister is in line! You must now get married.

*Cliche, cliche, cliche* This is one big pressure borne by every single man out there. By the time you turn 26 you must have a car, a 3bhk flat, a minimum of 1L salary per month (Lol! Minimum huhn) and here he’s all set for marriage. But don’t you think your daughters must also have the same ownings? I agree your son-in-law would treat your daughter like a queen but shouldn’t the queen share her king’s burden? Oh wait! How can I forget. You have an another daughter in line to spoil her life by the time she turns 20 right?

GIF courtesy: https://www.google.co.in

Rule:5 Get married whenever the astrologer says!

Raasi, Lagnam, Jaathagam etcetera! etcetra! And who decides this not you, not even your parents but a random astrologer whacks your life up! ‘It’s high time to get married with in this year because your horoscope says you won’t find a partner for the next half decade!’

Rule:6 The BIG NIGHT’S investigation

Isn’t it ridiculous to ask them how did the night go or to ask them if they did it right? You think I’m cooking this rule up nah? Your cousins must have got married recently well! You shall check this out with them. Grow up you oldies! They are adults now and you needn’t explain what to do and how to do.

Rule:7 Where’s the good news?
Alright! Your kids are married now and all the formalities are done! The honeymoon, the visits to relative’s houses, shifting places and what are you waiting for? Go on start shooting them with “When are you going to give us the good news?”. Afterall they’ve got married just to gift you with grandchildren right?

Rule:8 Always have your husband under control!

In which angle do your husband look like remote cars! You charge him up, instruct him what to do and above all ” Force him to divorce his parents”. However they’ve just brought him up for years, educated him, got him a big house and have found you as his partner but how do you repay them?- “Why can’t we move out separately? I would like to have some  privacy!” You seriously are dumb wifeys! 

P.S. Can you tell me who’s the real victim now?

Well you might think that I am just repeating the usual dialogues when there’re profound issues prevailing. I do know that there is still this dowry, marital rape, domestic violence and so on. But you know what? All the above rules are laid by those so called educated, middle and upper-middle class families in the materialistic society who boast themselves to be broad minded and social. Ofcourse not here to blame nor to critize anyone but a petite attempt from my part from letting you being blamed. 

Ultimately who wouldn’t want to taste their Kalyana Kathirikkai? It’s just that you must make and let them make it tasteful!